All things new

Well, I made it.  Barely.  Ha!  This year has been roooouuuuugh, boy.  Miscarriages, divorce, trying to feel like I'm not the worst mom alive.  But.  This year has ended on a high note.  Most importantly, Sienna Raine is happy.  She misses each parent when she's not with them but overall, she's a happy, well-adjusted little girl.  And I attribute that to God and BOTH her parents who love her.  She is the light of my life!!!!  She's so beautiful and sweet and funny.  That girl is FUNNY!!  I love watching her little mind grow and hearing something new and unexpected (and sometimes mildly profane) come out of her mouth. Secondly, my Chris.  Oh, how I love this man.  I love his manliness.  I love his blue eyes.  I love his voice.  I love his sense of humor.  I love his intelligence.  I love his resolve and common sense.  I love how he takes care of me.  We have some friction at times.  But I'm learning to grow up.  Literally just this week, I realized I have GOT to let things go.  Things that don't directly concern me and....things that do; because I can't change the things that aren't in my control.  Things that are in my control however......which brings me to....me.  I've taken on a new perspective.  I've decided to be my own best friend.  When I was very hard on myself and always putting myself down, a couple people asked me how I'd treat a friend who was in my shoes.  What would I say if a friend came to me with my problems and self-esteem.  I'd be loving to her.  I'd tell her to cut herself a break.  But I'd also give a gentle shove in the right direction - motivate her to move on.  Because moving on is the best way to move on!  So I started doing that.  I've always talked to myself but I'm now taking my relationship with myself seriously.  I'm encouraging me.  It's been nice.  I feel alive again and I'm embarking on some new things with my life.  Stay tuned...
Thirdly, my family.  Doggone it if I don't have the best mom and sisters in the whole wide world.  They're beautiful - inside and out.  Seriously.  My mom and sisters are gorgeous.  Funny.  Infuriating.  Generous.  Frustrating.  Loving.  They're all of it.  And I wouldn't have them any other way.
Fourthly(?), my friends.  These nuts I call friends are who get me through some days.  I love them.  And they love me.  That's all we need.


Happy New Year, All.  Happy New Year.
oxoxox